Tears of Tomorrow
by Victoria Dawn
Summary: Becky has one purpose in her life-to fuel her vampire coven for the next hundred years. She was born to be killed and she was born to be sacrificed. When she meets a man who tries to save her, will she leave with him or fulfill her purpose?
1. Chapter 1

Tears of Tomorrow

Chapter 1: Numb

"Becky?!" My elder screamed as I threw the door open.

"Yes, Sarah?" I said politely, making my way toward her.

"I would like you to do some cleaning around here, if that isn't too much to ask."

"Listen, I have a lot of homework I need to get done. Can't it wait till later?" I asked, dropping my heavy bag on the ground.

She didn't look amused. I could tell she hadn't fed in over a week-her eyes were a bright red.

"I'm going out and I expect this house to be clean when I return," she demanded, crossing her arms.

"Whatever, I'll get it done," I rolled my eyes. She walked over to me slowly, grabbing my neck and lifting me off of the ground. I was used to this, or else I would have screamed.

"You will do as I say, is that clear?" She commanded again, squeezing her small hand tighter.

"Yes," I choked out.

"Good." She dropped me to the floor and I grabbed my throat, massaging it. I already had bruises, so this didn't really feel like much to me.

She called for the others and they left, leaving me alone in the large house.

Vampires are much different than the old stories in this day and age. They could walk in the sunlight without being burned, they could drink Holy Water if they had to, and they certainly didn't mind garlic one bit. Believe me, I've tried it all.

It's hard knowing the creatures you've known for so long will be killing you within the next month. Yes, when I turn eighteen, I will be fed to my family. I am not vampire, but I have rules to remain a virgin, considering my blood will fuel them for over one-hundred years.

I know, it sounds crazy-and it is, but it's my life and I have to accept it. I will never embrace the fact, but I cannot do anything about the life that has been given to me.

My mother and father were both killed shortly after I was born, as a way to make sure they wouldn't try to save me.

The vampires have raised me up until now, but I wouldn't dare make friends with any of them.

One of the men who lives here always eyes me, but I won't ever look back. He is much too beautiful for my eyes to witness without falling madly in love with him.

He has spoken to me but once, and within that one sentence, my heart must have stopped five times. But knowing that his sweet face will be among the ones gnawing away at my flesh kills me even faster than his velvet voice ever could.

See, I was born for a purpose, as many people are-but my purpose is one of a greater magnitude. I was born to be killed. I was born to be eaten and I was born to quench the thirst of ten vampires for many years to come.

Sure, I'll never really experience the things normal teenagers would, but that doesn't mean I can't enjoy my so-called "life" while I'm still here.

I've never told anyone my purpose, nor do I ever plan to tell them. People only complicate things worse-if that's possible for me now.

I cleaned the large house the best I could; dusting, sweeping, and mopping everything in sight until I felt like the job was done to the best of my abilities. I dare not anger my masters, although I cannot help but be bitter most of the time.

If I hate them, it will make my death easier on me and easier on them.

It turned about nine o'clock and I decided I should probably start on my homework.

I walked up the stairs and opened the door to my room, closing it behind me with a loud creak.

They treated me like Cinderella here, although I knew I would never have my happy ending. My room was quite large; the walls were covered in a deep violet colored wallpaper with golden flowers painted in intricate patterns covering the surface. My bed was my favorite part of all. It consisted of a large wooden frame that held little vines etched into its exterior.

My bedding was the same purple color as the walls, but it was made of velvet, as were my pillows. I would spend most of my time sitting on my bed, sprawling out and twisting around on my comforter, taking in the pleasures of the fabric.

I laid my books onto my bed and hopped up onto it. I opened my English book, turning to the page that I needed to study, but I was rudely interrupted by a loud pound on my door.

"What is it?!" I yelled angrily.

"Open this door!" Sarah screamed back. I rolled my eyes and hopped back down, staggering towards the door.

I opened it to her face, looking much more pleasant than it had when she left earlier today. Her blonde hair looked more vibrant and it held her curls much easier than when she was thirsty. Her eyes turned back to their normal hazel and her face held a slight redder tone to it.

"What do you want?" I asked, stamping my foot.

"I just wanted to thank you for cleaning the house. You did a wonderful job," she whispered, bowing in front of me.

This confused me. I was very rarely thanked for the things I accomplished around the house-but I guess I would take it.

"You're welcome. Now, can I finish my homework?" I said sourly.

"Of course. If you're hungry, I can make you something."

"Really? Well, that would be great. Thanks."

"Okay, I'll get right on that, then," she said, walking away.

I closed my door again and fell back onto my bed, staring at the ceiling. What had made her act so weird? She was usually coarse and hard with me, but today, she was insanely sweet and caring. I was much too confused to even think about the homework that was due tomorrow.

Yes, they still sent me to school, seeing as they wanted me to try and have the most "normal" type of life I could muster up. I hated school, but I guess it was sort of kind of them to send me there, hoping I would make some friends or learn anything.

I flipped back around to my book but I could only stare at it, feeling my mind fill with questions.

I looked around my dark room but I just couldn't seem to find the answers I needed within my mind.

"Becky, your food is ready," Sarah said through my door. Wow, that was quick-or maybe I was just thinking for a really long time.

I walked back over to the door and opened it, but she wasn't holding my food. I rolled my eyes and pushed her out of the way, skipping down the stairs and into the dining room where my food waited for me.

I took my seat and dug in to the chicken, potatoes, and corn. Sarah was a wonderful cook considering the fact that she was a vampire.

"Are you enjoying your meal?" She asked, taking a seat across the table from me. I gave her a weird look and nodded.

"I'm glad, because I want you to be completely healthy before the end of the month." I knew what that meant. My birthday was approaching more quickly than ever before and I almost couldn't wait for it. I wanted to get this life over with and move onto bigger and better things-heaven mostly.

"Why do I have to be healthy?"

"Your blood will taste much better if you are healthy, of course."

"I see. You know, I'm sort of excited to get this over with," I answered, shoving another fork-full of food into my mouth.

She looked at me like I was crazy, but I think she understood. As much as I hate to say or think it-Sarah would have been one of my friends if she wasn't going to be one of the people killing me.

"I am truly sorry for the fate we have provided you with, but you must see it from our eyes. You are a meal far too good to ever pass up."

"I understand. I just hope I end up in Heaven when I die."

"Of course you will, my friend. You are a wonderful, delightful person. I'm sure God would love to have your presence near him."

"Thanks. Anyway, I have to go finish my homework. I haven't even started yet," I said as I picked up my plate and walked to the kitchen. She kept following me, which was weird, but I decided not to pay attention.

I washed my dish and walked back upstairs, closing my door on her face as she stared at me.

I finally finished my homework and crawled under my blankets, closing my eyes.

I was in the middle of a dream, but just when I was about to walk towards the gates to heaven, my door creaked and woke me up.

"Who is it?" I asked through a yawn.

"It's John. I was wondering if I could have a word with you," he said softly. I closed my eyes at the sound of his voice and I could literally feel my heart stop.

"Okay, what do you want?" I tried to ask annoyed, but my voice turned sweet.

He sat on my bed next to me and took my hands. I pulled them away, but he grabbed them again, fogging my head with his touch.

"You must leave here."

"What are you talking about? I can't ever leave, you know that."

"I will help you, but you must leave," he repeated. Okay, sure, he was gorgeous, but I wasn't about to leave the only life I'd ever known. Anyway, I'd be killed no matter what I did. It didn't matter anymore.

"I can't leave. They'll kill me no matter what I do. Anyway, why do you want to help me? You hardly even know me."

"But I know of your soul. Your soul is pure and you do not deserve the fate you have been given. Let me help you. Please."

"Listen, John. I can't leave. I have less than a month left and I'm getting this over with. I can't make friends now; it's too late for this."

"It's never too late for love. Please, let me help you."

"Okay, you're handsome and all, but I'm not in love with you, nor will I ever be. And I'm not leaving; that's final. Now, please, let me get some sleep," I glanced at the clock, "I have to leave for school in four hours."

"Fine. I will speak with you tomorrow when you're not so tired. Until then," he stood up and walked out the door, creaking softly.

I went back to sleep and forgot all about what had happened, although the only reason I forgot was because I _made_ myself forget.

What the hell would John want with me, anyway?


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: Torment

I ran up to my room and threw my books on the floor as I had done every other day. I flopped on my bed and stared at my ceiling, counting the bumps that made up the pattern above my head.

I lay there for what felt like hours and considering I didn't have any homework to deal with, I could lay there for as long as I wanted.

"Becky, please let me in," his sweet voice said. I jumped as he caught me off guard, but I got myself back together and hopped off of my bed, opening the door.

There he stood, looking oh-so-gorgeous. His raven hair fell around his face magnificently and reached just below his shoulders. His eyes gleamed a chocolate brown and his face was as pale as the moon.

He stole my breath away again when he spoke softly. "I need to talk with you again."

"Okay," I answered, my heart skipping a few beats.

"May I come in?"

"Yeah, sure," I said, extending my arm out towards my bed.

He walked slowly and sat down, patting the spot next to him. I felt like my body hovered over-as though I wasn't even moving my own legs.

"What do you want?" I said sourly as I remembered what he had asked me last night.

"I want you to come with me. We must leave."

I turned away and crossed my arms, rolling my eyes. I was _trying_ to act cruel towards him. I didn't want friends and I certainly didn't want to fall in love right now, although I knew that would be an impossible feat anyway.

"Listen," I said angrily, turning back towards him. "I think _you_ should leave if you want to. Why do I have to go, anyway? This is my life and I accept that."

"Why do you feel like you have to sell yourself short? You don't deserve this."

"It doesn't matter if I _deserve_ it or not. That has nothing to do with it, John. This is my destiny and I have to fulfill it. It's the reason I was born."

"Why in the world would you want to die?!" He almost shouted but caught himself, looking around cautiously. I knew if anyone else happened to be home, they would probably be listening to our conversation. I'd probably pay for talking to him later.

"It's not that I want to. It's just that I _have_ to. This is my purpose and it's the only thing I've known my whole life. It might sound weird, but why would I want to throw that away?"

"Throw away being ripped to shreds?! Why wouldn't you want to throw that away?! Listen, Becky," he said, grabbing my hands. I tried to pull them away but decided to give up, knowing he would just grab for them again. "You are much more special than you think you are. You deserve more than this fate."

I sighed heavily. Apparently he wasn't going to give up any time soon.

"Becky, my dead heart burns for you. I hope that you will listen to what I am telling you. Don't you want to live? Don't you want to have a normal life?"

"It doesn't matter if I leave or not. I'll never have a normal life-can't you see that?"

"You may not have a _normal_ life, but you can still live. It's never too late."

"Even if I leave, they'll come after me. Both of us are going to die if we leave. Plus, I don't even know you. What if you're plotting against me? What if this is all just a set-up? I can't trust you. I think you should leave."

"I'm not against you; you must believe me. I know a place we can go. Please trust me. I may be slightly new at this whole vampire thing, but I still know what is best for you."

"Listen, _I_ know what's best for me. I'd rather just do whatever I'm supposed to do and go along with it."

"You obviously still need time to think," he said, letting my hands drop and walking out of the room.

"Don't worry about me. I'll be fine," I whispered.

He nodded and closed my door, leaving me alone to my rushing thoughts.

What does he want with me anyway? I just don't get it. I don't get why he would go through all of the trouble trying to save me and risking his own life. Why would he risk dying for me?

As I began to think more, I began to think that maybe there really is someone out there who cares for me.

John had only been turned into a vampire about six months ago, but he was immediately brought into the family seeing as Sarah had been the one to change him.

He seemed like too much of a risk-taker for me, though. I've always been the type of girl that just goes with the flow, and now that he was putting hope into my mind, it was getting harder to accept this life.

I just wonder why he waited so long to tell me this. Why would he wait until the month of my death to ask me to leave?

I was completely confused. I mean, maybe something _was_ drawing him to me, but I just didn't understand why he would want to risk his life to save mine. My life was worth nothing in my eyes, and that was how I always thought it would remain. I didn't want to leave. I wanted to live my short life the way it was supposed to be lived.

I didn't want to ever think outside of the box and I certainly didn't want to take any chances.

Sure, I was used to being beaten and hurt, but I couldn't imagine the pain and torture I would face if they found me after I had tried to run away.

I shuddered at the thought.

My thoughts were interrupted by the loud sounds my stomach started to make. I knew I would need to be healthy when I was to be fed to my family, but the more I talked to John, the more I wanted to foil their plans.

Finally giving up, I jumped off of my bed and opened my door, walking down the stairs slowly.

I reached the dining room and three of my family members were sitting at the table, talking quietly. They all turned to look at me when I reached them, but I crossed my arms and rolled my eyes, ignoring their stares.

I'd hoped none of them had heard me and John's conversation, but I figured they probably did considering their keen sense of hearing.

After I made myself some dinner, I took a seat next to Carmen, feeling her eyes piercing into the side of my head. I tried not to pay attention, but I turned towards her, showing her my chewed-up food. She turned away disgusted but I smiled, getting what I wanted out of her.

"Becky, what were you and John talking about?" Sage asked. Her face looked worried, but I pushed it aside and came up with some stupid excuse.

"Oh, nothing, he was just asking how school was going," wow, I couldn't think of anything better than _that_?

"Oh, really? Well, I thought there might have been something wrong. He hasn't talked to you at all since he was accepted into the coven."

"I know, it was weird, but oh well," I answered, staring down at my plate.

Nate rolled his eyes and got up from his seat, walking out of the room. I didn't really care; I wasn't about to start telling these people what was going on.

"You know what will happen if you lie to us," Carmen said, peaking her eyes through her auburn hair. She scared me a little, but I turned away, nodding slowly.

"I don't think she's telling us the truth," Sage whispered to Carmen angrily.

I flinched in my chair, although catching myself before I gasped. I knew I was about to be punished, and I wasn't sure if I could take that right now. I had enough to think about other than being thrown into that room again.

They both rose from their chairs slowly and Carmen grabbed my arms as Sage grabbed my legs. They lifted me into the air and I struggled, but their nails dug into my skin, ripping holes.

"No, please!" I whimpered, but they carried me to the room, throwing me inside. It was dark and I couldn't see where I was. All I could see was the outlines of their bodies moving toward me and I could hear them laughing.

"Come on, pick her up," Sage said.

They picked me up again and threw me against the wood slab, pinning my arms and legs down as they bound them up. I twisted and turned against the rope but it was too tight. They weren't about to let me go.

I heard someone pick something up but I couldn't see what it was.

A loud whistle came through the air as I felt the deep stinging of what felt like a whip. I sobbed lightly, but I was used to the pain. In a weird, awkward kind of way, I almost liked it now. The pain was almost like my pleasure.

"She's not screaming yet; whip her harder!" Carmen yelled.

I winced again as I was hit harder, this time across my stomach. I was glad I still had my clothes on, seeing as it covered my body.

I screamed to give them what they wanted, although it didn't hurt that bad.

"Tell us the truth!" Sage yelled as she whipped me again in the same spot. Okay, that one hurt a little.

"What do you want to know?" I said breathlessly.

"What were you and John talking about?!"

"I told you! He asked how school was going! He wanted to see if I was making friends!"

"I still don't believe her, hit her again!" Carmen demanded.

This went on for about twenty more minutes, but I stuck by my story. I knew if I were to tell the truth, I would be killed sooner and John would be slaughtered, as well. Sure, these vampires seemed nice from their outsides, but they were just as bad as murderers.

"I'm not lying! Please, leave me alone!" I screamed one last time before I blacked out. I could feel the blood dripping from my wounds now and I knew I couldn't take it anymore.

I lay limp against the wood but I could still feel the pain of them hitting me through my unconsciousness. I hated them with every fiber of my being, which would only make it easier when they finally killed me. I just didn't care anymore. I wanted to get it over with.

I felt a few smacks against my face and I opened my eyes slowly, seeing a pair of eyes glimmer in the dark.

I knew it was him. I figured that this would be the time, if any, that he would try to make me leave, although I didn't want to.

I couldn't understand what was wrong with me. Any normal person would want to take that chance, wouldn't they? Why didn't I want to leave this life of torment and pain? Why did I _want_ them to kill me?

Maybe it was just because I couldn't deal with the thought of living anymore.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3: Change

I felt my hands being untied but I also felt the overwhelming sensation that I was going to pass out again.

I could feel the blood pouring from the wounds that cut across my stomach and I could feel it trickling from my wrists, as well. I couldn't cry anymore, feeling that my tear ducts had almost emptied their supply.

I tried to keep my eyes open, but I had to give up, closing them quickly. I could barely feel my other hand being untied and being lifted into John's arms.

"I'm going to save you," he whispered in my ear. I felt the warmth of his breath, and I wanted to struggle against him and tell him that I wanted to stay, but I couldn't possibly muster up the strength.

I had no clue why my body was telling me that I should stay. Why should I want to stay with people who tortured me so?

My mind was begging me to jump out of his arms, but my heart fluttered against my chest with his touch.

"Are you awake?" He said softly.

I just groaned lightly and felt myself slip again, back into the darkness.

I was in a dark dungeon, tied to a large table with about ten different faces floating around me. They laughed at my pain and terror and hit me harder, making me wince. My eyes burned with tears and my body felt completely broken. I didn't know who there were or where they'd come from, but I recognized only one of the faces-the face of John, the mysterious man who had tried to save me.

I shot him down over and over again until this one time I really needed him. He saved me and I wasn't sure where he was taking me, but I knew that he would probably be dead soon. I shouldn't get too close to him.

I tried to wake up out of the terrible nightmare, but my eyes wouldn't open. They felt like fifty-pound weights were holding them down and glue was keeping them in place.

I heard John whispering every now-and-again, but I couldn't really make out what he was saying. For some reason, this man was attracted to me and I couldn't understand why. Sure, I was beautiful and I knew it, but I never thought a vampire that I lived with would ever be interested in me. It freaked me out to say the least.

"Becky? Becky, wake up!" His voice said, shaking me in different directions. I opened my eyes slowly, seeing his face right in front of mine. I tried to back away, but I had nowhere to go.

I shook my head back and forth, trying to make the pain go away, but it just wouldn't stop. My whole body ached, leaving my face stained with tears.

"Shh, it'll be okay," he whispered, kissing my cheek.

I made a noise and turned my face away as my eyes welted with more tears. The warmth slid down my cheeks and into my mouth, wetting my lips, finally allowing me to speak.

"Where are we?" I said with a hoarse voice.

"I've taken you away from that horrid house."

"But, where are we?" I asked again, trying to sit up, but falling back down. My wrists hurt so badly that I couldn't even use my arms.

"We are in the woods, love," he answered. I grimaced at what he called me, wrinkling my forehead and turning my face sour.

"Don't call me that ever again," I replied hotly. It didn't bother me that much, but I wanted him to think that it did.

"I'm sorry, Becky. I will be sure to abide by your wishes." What the hell was this guy? Some type of servant?

"Listen, I need to go home."

"You cannot go back there. They will kill us both if we go back."

"Well, maybe I don't want to live anymore," I whispered. That was the first time I'd ever told anyone that. I honestly just felt like life wasn't worth it for me. I mean, what type of life was this anyway? I couldn't experience anything and it had to almost be like I didn't exist.

"Why would you say that?" He asked, taking my face in his hands. His breath smelled like peppermint, but he disgusted me. I couldn't have this man making moves on me when I was basically unable to protect myself.

I moved back and he got the idea, releasing my face.

"I'm sorry," he whispered again. "I cannot help myself. I've been watching you ever since I was let into the coven, Becky. I thought that I would be fine with their plans, but I've realized that I couldn't just stand by and let you die. I couldn't kill you with my very own hands."

"Well, that's fine, but I need to go back. That's my home, John. You can't just take me away forever. I won't allow it."

"It's much too late for that, now. We cannot go back. Please understand that I am not only saving you, but I am saving myself."

"Well, why couldn't you just leave without me? I wanted that, John! It was all I've ever known! How could you do this to me?!" My throat started to burn as my voice grew louder but I didn't care. He had wronged me; taken me away from the only life I've ever known. I felt betrayed and hurt, and I didn't know why.

I didn't know why I felt the way I did at all. I should be happy. I shouldn't _want_ to go back to the people who had hurt me so badly. I couldn't even move and it was all because of them. They had planned to kill me even before my birth…so, why wasn't I rejoicing?

"You should be happy," he said softly, almost as though he had heard my thoughts.

"I understand this. But, I am not happy, nor will I ever be happy. That is an impossibility for me. Can't you see this?"

I felt completely awkward lying on the ground beside him, explaining why I wasn't happy that he had saved me from my doom but for some reason, I knew this was where I was supposed to be.

"There is no reason why you cannot be happy. Look at yourself-you are beautiful, smart, loving, and caring. You are everything good in this world."

"Thanks, but I have every reason to want to die. You just don't understand-nor will you _ever_ understand."

"I know that this is the only life that you have ever known, but now that you are saved, you can start anew. You can be the girl you've always wanted to be. You can be with whomever you want and go wherever you want. You don't have to be afraid anymore, Becky."

I wanted to believe him, but the coven burned in my mind. What if they found us? What if they sent people to look for us? What if they ended up killing us both without a second thought? I knew that we would probably be running for most of our lives, but maybe that really was better than death. John was right, I could actually experience _life_ for the first time.

"Maybe you're right," I whispered. He took my hands and I winced, closing my eyes tightly but pushing the pain aside.

"You are much too special to let go."

"I don't understand you."

His face twisted in confusion. "What is not to understand?"

"I don't understand how you could save someone you don't even know. How could you risk your life just to save mine?"

"Because I know who you _really_ are. You put on an act for all of the vampires. You wanted them to think that you were ready and willing to be killed, when in your heart, you only wanted to live. I know this to be true."

I took my hands from in between his and brought them to my face, covering myself. I started crying hysterically, hurting my stomach worse than it already had. It twisted with pain, but I didn't stop, knowing I had to get my feelings out for the first time.

For the first time, someone understood me and for the first time, I could cry without feeling weak. I felt myself giving into my emotions, letting them pour out and into the open.

John grabbed my shoulder and rubbed me lightly, making me feel slightly better. I wanted to pull away, but then again, I wanted to give in for the first time. I wanted to be free all of my life, and it was finally happening.

"I care about you very much," he said, taking my hands away from my face. I probably looked terrible, but I really didn't care anymore.

"No one has ever cared about me before."

"I know, but I'm here now and you must believe that I will protect you from anything. You may not think that I know you that well, but I really do. I know who is really in here," he said as he lightly poking my chest right above my heart.

He made my stomach flutter, but I tried not to think about it. I felt sick, but it might have been a good sick for the first time in my life. I'd never had a guy care about me before so I didn't really know what it felt like to have a _crush_ on someone.

"You are beautiful even when your face is covered in tears," he whispered, wiping them away. I pulled away again, but decided to move a little closer, taking his hands. I didn't know why he was starting to drive me crazy, but I didn't really want to hold it back anymore.

The first time I saw him, I had the same sick feeling in my stomach that I did now so I knew that it must just be because of attraction.

"Do you think they'll come after us?" I finally said.

He nodded once. "I believe they will try to find us. We must move quickly once you are rested so that we can get as far away as possible."

"Well, I think I feel okay now," I struggled, trying to lift myself up. My wounds weren't healing any time soon and I knew I would have to lie through my teeth to get him to believe that I was okay.

"You don't look very well," he said, staring at me. I smiled lightly, trying to make him think nothing was wrong, but he just turned his head, giving me an odd look while crossing his arms. He didn't believe me one bit.

"I'm fine; really, I am."

"I think we should wait a little while longer. Maybe you should try to sleep," he muttered, brushing his fingers through my long auburn hair. It felt matted, and I knew it was going to be hell to try to brush it, but I wasn't going to worry about that right now.

I yawned and nodded slowly, closing my eyes. I drifted away and he moved in closer, putting his arm under my head as a pillow. I was a little freaked out still, but I decided that I needed rest before I could even try to fight him off.

I prayed that this plan was going to work, but I didn't have much hope in my life anymore.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4: Saved?

I woke up back in John's arms as he ran through the woods. I was still groggy but I could see the road approaching quickly as the sun began to come up.

I looked up to his face and noticed that he was staring at me, which made me blush terribly. I hid my head back under my arms and I heard a light chuckle escape his perfect lips.

"What are you laughing at?" I asked, trying to sound angry, although it only made me nervous. No man had ever looked at me the way he was now, and frankly, it scared the crap out of me.

"Nothing, I'm just amused by you," he answered, looking back ahead.

"I'm amusing now? And how do you figure that?"

"Just forget about it. The sun's almost up and we have to find a place to stay."

"Where are we going to go? And do you want me to walk, I do have two legs, you know," I said sarcastically.

"We'll probably have to find a motel or something to stay at until I get in contact with one of my friends who will take us in. And no, I would rather you not walk. You will just slow us down."

Okay, offensive much? "Sorry I'm so slow," I said, crossing my arms.

"No, it's fine, but I'd rather not be in the sun, okay?" He sounded a little different-a little ruder, actually.

"The sun doesn't affect you guys. You always go out during the day."

"The sun makes me nervous. I hate being so pale-it makes me look like a freak."

I laughed lightly, "You couldn't look like a freak if you tried."

I looked up and saw a smirk grow in the corner of his mouth and then turned back to the road that was only a few steps away.

"Aren't you tired from running?" I asked.

"Of course not. I'm basically dead, remember? Haven't you learned anything from living with vampires your whole life?"

"Not really; they never let me leave the house with them, so I still always had questions."

"Well, we might have to walk now, just in case someone sees me. If I were human and saw a man running down the side of the road as quickly as I was with a woman in his arms, I might be slightly terrified."

I nodded once as he set me on my feet lightly. He seemed a little off today, but he was just as caring and courteous as he usually was.

We walked in silence for awhile and I couldn't stop wondering about where we would go. I wasn't scared of dying anymore, so I didn't really think about them finding me, although it was a perfect reality now.

"So, where are we exactly?" I finally asked, my arms crossed and my face fierce. I was still going to be distanced from him, seeing as I still didn't want a boyfriend, especially not one who was a _vampire._

See, my story isn't like all of the others. I'm not that wimpy little girl who needs help all of the time. I can handle myself and I can handle what is thrown in my face from a day-to-day basis. I hate people and I hate the thought of anyone trying to get close to me; that only opens me up for more hurt.

"We're in Pennsylvania, right now. We will be arriving at a hotel shortly."

"How do you know?"

He simply extended his arm and pointed forward. I felt so stupid, but right in front of us was a large sign that read "Motel."

"Oh; sorry," I said, embarrassed. He just giggled lightly and kept walking.

We reached the parking lot to the motel quickly and almost ran in the front door, slamming it when we got inside. John walked up to the counter and looked around anxiously, dinging the bell over and over. It started to hurt my ears and I brought my hands up to them, shielding them from the high-pitched sound.

"Would you quit that?" I asked, wincing.

"Sorry, I just want to know if anyone is here. Hello?!" He shouted.

"I'm coming, I'm coming," a small woman said as she walked though the back doorway. The place looked so broken and old that I was more afraid to stay here than to keep walking along the road.

"Do you have any rooms available?" John asked, smiling politely.

"Yeah, just let me see," she said as she flipped through a small book in front of her. "Ah, yes, here we go. Room 15 is available. Would you like to have it?"

"Yes," he answered. I decided to take a look around the room as he paid her and she took his information.

The carpet was a dark brown that looked like it wasn't supposed to be that color at all. The walls were a wooden paneling and the doors were all glass. Everything looked like it needed a good cleaning.

The only furnishing it had was a small bench that could fit maybe two people on it.

I paced back and forth with my arms crossed as John walked back over and out the front door.

"Have a good day, you two," the woman called out as she strode back through the door in the back of the room. I smiled and turned back to John who was holding the door open for me.

"Thanks," I whispered as I walked through.

"So, we will stay in the room and I will try to get a hold of someone who will take us in."

"That sounds good to me. Is there a TV?"

"As far as I know, there should be one."

"Okay, then I'm fine with that."

We reached our room and he opened the door, once again letting me step in first. He was a perfect gentleman, but something about him annoyed me. When did he push back? When did his back-bone ever show up?

"Why are you so nice?" I asked as I plopped down on the bed that felt like a wooden board.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean just what I asked. Why are you so nice?"

"I guess I've forgiven for what has been done to me. I'd rather be a nice person with no regrets than a cold, worthless piece of life."

"Thanks so much," I muttered.

"I wasn't calling you a waste of life. I understand why you're cold. I'd be the same way if I were you."

I looked down at my hands as I clenched and unclenched them. I actually hated him for being so nice to me and I wished he would have just left me back to be killed. I didn't want this new life he was posing and I knew that I couldn't ever get used to it, no matter how glamorous he tried to make it seem.

"You'll be a lot better after we meet up with my friends."

"I'm not so sure about that," I whispered.

He sat down on the bed next to me and I scooted away a few inches, but he only moved closer.

"You have to understand that you're worth more than what you were settling for, Becky."

"I really don't care anymore to be honest. I just want to live the life I was given, okay?" I said as I stood up and walked towards the bathroom. I stopped at the door and glanced back at him, but he was just staring at the ground.

"You'll never understand," I said to myself. And he wouldn't; no one could ever understand how I feel. The pain I've felt cannot be taken away or replaced with happiness, and once he gets that, I can run back to the house and fulfill my duties.

I closed the door behind me and stared at myself in the mirror. I was right, I did look like crap. I looked for a hair brush but couldn't find one, settling for just running my fingers through the hay that was now my hair. I fixed up my makeup a little with my finger, as well and decided that I looked about as good as I was going to look for a very long time.

My plaid button-down shirt was covered in dirt and grass and I tried to brush it off as best as I could, but that still ended up looking like crap, too. My jeans had a small hole in the knee now, which angered me considering I'd just bought these last week.

"Becky, are you okay?" I heard John ask through the door. He startled me but I thought I should be nice this time.

"I'm fine; I just look like I've been living in the woods, is all."

"May I come in?"

"And why would you want to do that?" I asked sourly.

"Please may I come in?"

I sighed heavily and walked toward the door, opening it slowly. I made my face look as upset as I could but he just pushed me aside and walked in.

"What are you doing? I thought you were trying to find your friends."

"I'm going to, but not before I talk to you first." The man was relentless! Why couldn't he just leave me be?!

"Why are you so persistent in finding out my feelings?"

"You feelings are important to me."

"Why? How could my feelings be important to you?! You hardly even know me!"

"I know you well enough that I would like to know why you think the way you do."

"Listen, John. I don't know why I think this way, but I do, okay? I'm sick of being hurt and I just don't want to deal with it anymore! I just want this to be over. I think you should take me home. I'll tell them I ran away and you can go free, okay?"

He sat on the side of the tub and stared at me. He shook his head from side-to-side slowly and then looked back to the ground.

"This is what I don't understand."

"Well, I'm sorry I can't explain it. Once you've lost both of your parents and been given to a vampire coven as a sacrifice, maybe you'll understand, okay? But, until then, you can't question me."

"You don't know my past."

"Of course I don't! I hardly even know you!"

"My parents were both killed when I was young, as well. Obviously, I was eighteen when it happened, seeing as I am eighteen now."

"So, that means that they turned you after they killed your parents?"

"Yes," he said solemnly. "I did not ask for this life, as you didn't, but I am dealing with it the best that I can."

"Well, I'm dealing with it too, okay?"

"Running away is not dealing with this."

"I didn't want to run away! You made me run away!"

"You are running away from your true feelings. You don't really want to die; you're just scared of how happy you _could_ be."

"I'm not scared of anything," I said as though I were a child. Just then I noticed how I really was. I noticed how cold I was when he was only trying to help me, but I didn't think I could _want_ to be with him.

"You're scared of opening up to me."

I sighed lightly and turned away, crossing my arms again. "Of course I'm scared," I murmured.

"Don't be," he whispered as he stood up. He grabbed my shoulders and kissed my cheek as he walked out of the room.

I stared at myself for a moment longer and thought about what he said-the words running through my mind over and over at a million miles an hour.

Did I really _want_ him?


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5: Who Am I?

That night, John let me sleep on the bed while he sat closely by, watching me. It was still really creepy, but I decided to let it go, understanding that I wouldn't be able to do much about it.

"Becky?" He said softly as he shook me lightly. My eyes ran under their lids until I opened them slowly, seeing his beautiful face.

"What is it?" I murmured, rubbing my eyes.

"We're going to be leaving soon, if that's okay with you. I'd like to order you some food, and then we're going to go see my friends."

"Okay, I guess that's fine."

"What would you like to eat?"

"I don't really care. Whatever you can find, I guess," I responded, hopping off the side of the bed. I walked towards the bathroom, flipping my hair around, knowing that it looked terrible.

I stopped dead in my tracks when I felt his breath on my bare neck. I tilted my head to the side as to give him more room, until I realized what I was doing.

I spun around quickly and smacked him across the face, grabbing my hand as it throbbed. It felt like I just hit a brick wall.

"What was that for?!" He yelled, moving towards my face so he was directly in front of me.

"Don't touch me; ever," I said sternly, raising myself up onto my tippy-toes so I could look angrily into his eyes.

"What is your _problem_?" He asked, grabbing my shoulders.

I backed away, ripping his hands off of me and I ran into the bathroom, slammed the door behind me, and locked it, leaving him outside to ask questions.

I didn't know why I had reacted the way I did, but I couldn't take it back now.

"What's wrong with you? I thought we were fine now," he said through the door.

"Leave me alone, John. I just want to be by myself right now, okay?!" I screamed, pulling my fingers through my matted hair. I watched myself in the mirror and I hated myself. I hated what I had become. I hated what the vampires made me believe I was-nothing.

_I don't deserve a guy as nice as him_, I thought to myself. _I don't deserve any of this. I should be dead in a few days. Why did he take me away?! This could be over!_

"I don't really think you want me to leave you alone."

"Yes I do!" I screamed, my voice cracking half-way through. I dropped to the side of the tub, covering my face with my shaking hands. I sobbed lightly as the tears fell from my eyes, staining my dirt-covered cheeks.

"I can't do this," I whispered.

"Yes you can, Becky. You have to let them go. You have to let that past life go and move on."

I ground my teeth together as he talked. I didn't believe a damn word he was telling me. I hated him and I hated that he took me away from the only life I ever knew. I wished he would just leave and let me go back to my home and my family.

"They're not your family!" He shouted, pounding on the door.

"Leave me alone!"

"I will not leave you alone so you can put yourself down more and wish you were dead. I will not do that!"

"Just give it up, John. I'm never going to be that girl."

"What are you talking about?"

_What do you think I'm talking about?_ I thought to myself. _I can't do this. I'm not good enough. I could never love him,_ my mind told me over and over again.

"Just leave me alone, please?" I murmured.

"Fine, but I'm going to be waiting in the other room once you get out. We have to leave soon."

"Whatever. Do what you want," I said sourly as I raised myself back up off of the tub.

I stared into my pale blue eyes and wiped the tears away, trying my best to fix the makeup that was left on my face. My lips were a dull pink and they felt completely tattered and chapped. My cheeks now had white lines etched into them from my tears and I took a little water from the sink, trying to clean my face the best I could.

"Can I shower in here?" I asked John through the door. I figured he'd still be sitting there, waiting, as he always was.

"Yeah, you should be able to," he answered. I could tell from how close his voice was that he was, in fact, still sitting outside my door.

"Well then, I'm going to shower. I look terrible."

"You could never look terrible, but, okay. Just don't take too long."

See, why did he have to say things like that? Why couldn't he just let me put myself down? No, instead, he has to overly compliment me and make me feel even worse.

I undressed quickly and threw my clothes on the floor beside the tub. I turned the water on first, making sure it was the perfect temperature before I climbed inside.

The water hit my skin, almost making me crumble from the soothing feeling. I sighed lightly as I rubbed the hotel shampoo into my scalp, massaging the dirt from my dark hair.

I didn't want to get out of the shower because I knew once I did, I wouldn't feel even half as good as I felt right now.

"Are you almost done?" John asked, breaking into my great mood.

"Yeah; why?"

"We need to leave as soon as possible."

"Okay, I'll be out in a minute," I called back, rolling my eyes.

I rung my hair out, turned the water off, and stepped out onto the cold, hard bathroom floor. I shivered lightly and grabbed a towel, quickly dabbing the water from my skin.

I put my clothes back on, instantly feeling dirty again. As I ran my fingers through my hair again, I realized that I didn't look as bad as I thought I did. I was actually kind of…pretty.

I unlocked the door slowly and stepped out, finding John sitting adjacent to my door.

"Have you been waiting right there this whole time?" I asked, crossing my arms. He just stared, not saying a word.

I rolled my eyes and walked away, finding my shoes next to the bed and throwing them on, leaving them untied.

"How do you manage to do that?" He asked, entering the room again.

"What are you talking about?"

"How do you manage to look so beautiful only after a shower?"

"Uh…thanks?" I said, looking away bashfully. I hated when he started to get through to me. I didn't want him in, I only wanted him out.

He sat next to me on the bed and put his arm around my shoulders, pulling me close.

I tried to move away, but he held me tighter, almost hurting me.

"I promise I will make this better," he whispered.

"Make what better?" I asked, as if I didn't know.

"I will make everything better. You will have the life you have always deserved," he said, kissing my cheek.

"Please don't kiss me ever again," I said softly, looking away. I didn't really mean that, but I wanted him to think I did.

"I'm sorry," he said sorrowful, removing his arm from my shoulders. "Just please be ready to leave in about five minutes. I'll keep out of your way."

I turned back slowly, opening my mouth ready to tell him that I was sorry, but nothing came out. Instead, I nodded and looked away again.

_Why does he have to do this to me? Why can't he just let me be by myself and bitter towards everyone?_

Honestly, I have no idea why I would be thinking these thoughts. I've noticed that lately, I've been in complete conflict with myself. Should I do this…should I do that-type thing.

He walked away and sat on the floor outside the bathroom door, exactly where he had been before, but I stayed where I was.

I kept glancing back to him to see if he was looking back, but he wasn't. He had his knees brought up to his face with his head buried into them.

I felt terrible to say the least. I didn't mean to make him feel bad, but I didn't want him to like me. I just didn't think I could deal with that much pressure.

I mean, what is _love_ anyway? How could I let him fall in love with me when I hated myself?

A few minutes later, he broke the silence with his deep voice.

"We have to leave now."

I nodded and got up off of the bed, walking towards the door.

"How are we going to get there?" I asked.

"We are going to have to walk to the next town over, and from there, my friends will pick us up," he said as he appeared behind me.

"Okay, let's get going," I said, opening the door. He grabbed my shoulder and turned me around quickly, kissing me passionately. I closed my eyes as I felt the warmth of his lips, but realized what was going on and pulled away, yet again.

My eyes burned as the tears started to form and I ran out the door, leaving him behind.

"Becky! Please don't leave!" He shouted as he ran after me.

I didn't look back. I couldn't do this. I couldn't _deal_ with this.

"Leave me alone!" I screamed back, tripping and falling to the ground. I scraped my elbow on the concrete and I stayed on the ground, crying loudly.

I looked up to the sky with my eyes full of tears and whispered, "Why me?"

I heard footsteps behind me but I didn't run. I stayed like a statue, glued to the ground below me.

"Please don't leave me," he whispered, kneeling beside me.

"I can't be with you," I murmured back.

"I _need_ you," he said sternly, positioning himself in front of me. He grabbed my shoulders again tightly and looked down, "please do not be scared of me. I'm not like them. Believe me please."

"I just can't be with you," I said again. A tear fell from my eye and I leaned forward, kissing his cheek softly.

"You mean the world to me."

I twisted my head back and forth, "See? How can you _say_ that?! How can I mean the _world _to you?!"

"I don't know the answer to that question, Becky, but I do know that I need you in my life. Whether you are just a friend, or more; I need you."

"Please just let me leave."

"I can't allow that. They'll find you and kill you without me."

"I don't care, John! I don't care about this life and I don't care about you, okay?! Just leave me alone!" I yelled, standing up swiftly and running away again.

I didn't understand myself why I would act so childish towards him, but I was and I wasn't going to stop any time soon. How could I mean _everything_ to a man I hardly even knew? How could he feel this way about me?

"Please, Becky!" He screamed, running beside me. He grabbed my arm but I shook him off, running faster. I knew that I was stupid to try and outrun him. He was a _vampire_ for goodness sake.

I ran until I couldn't run anymore-stopping on the side of the road, kneeling down and breathing heavily. He was right there, never letting go of me and I hated it. I was my own person and he was trying to change me into something that he could love.

I knew this and I didn't want it.

I wanted to be alone, didn't I? I wanted to die, didn't I?

_Didn't I?_


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6: Caught

"Come on. Let's just go to my friend's house, please?" He plead with me, his eyes large with sympathy.

"I don't want to go with you," I whispered, staring at the ground as I tried to catch my breath.

"Why not? What are you so afraid of? I just don't get you, Becks."

I perked my head up for a moment. Did he just call me…Becks? No one had ever given me a nickname before, other than an old friend of mine.

An old vampire used to live with my coven before he decided that he would have no part in killing me. He was like a father to me-a best friend. But that didn't stop him from leaving, just as everyone else had. I needed him and he left me for dead, never to return.

I couldn't ever forget Anthony, although I wanted to so badly. He was my best friend but he betrayed me. Even though he didn't want to kill me, it wasn't like he was going to stop them before everyone else did.

"I'm afraid to leave with you," I finally murmured. I didn't want a new life because it wasn't going to be the one I was used to. I would survive instead of being killed…and odd enough…that was terrifying.

"Why would you be afraid? You're going to have a great, long life. Why wouldn't you want that?"

"I'm scared of the unknown, John. I'm scared to be away from the life that I've always known. I'm more willing to die than to live."

"I see," he whispered, staring at me. I glanced over and met his eyes, although I looked away quickly. Every time I caught his glance, I felt as though I wouldn't ever be able to make my way out. His eyes were like a path, leading me straight to his heart.

I knew I needed him, just as he said he needed me, but I didn't _want_ to need him. I didn't want to feel his touch or hear his voice for the fear that I wouldn't ever want to let him go.

"I need you to believe that you will be okay," he said, grabbing my hand and squeezing lightly.

"I never thought I would live to be an adult and now that it might actually happen, I'm terrified. I never thought I would love or make friends or do anything that _normal_ people do. I'm not normal, John. I'm broken," I whispered. My voice cracked half-way through and a lonely tear rolled down my cheek. He quickly raised his hand and wiped it away, closing his eyes.

"Don't be afraid to love me. I will never leave."

"I don't even know you. We've only just met, John. I feel that you're something special, but I don't want you to run away like the rest of them do. If I love you, you can't ever leave me."

"I couldn't leave you. I'd never leave you, Becks. I know we hardly know each other, but I feel like I've known you my whole life. Something pulls me to you. Some unknown force is telling me that I need you in my life, and I will not just throw those feelings aside."

"I'll go with you, but if I get too scared, I'm leaving," I said as I swallowed hard. I felt like such a baby for being so scared, but all of this was so new to me. The only place I'd been outside of our mansion was school and now I had a whole new world ahead of me.

A world that could possibly be filled with the love of a wonderful man-but, this man was a vampire. How could I trust a vampire?

I finally picked myself up off of the ground and shook my head of all the dreadful thoughts. I wanted to believe that everything would be okay. I wanted to believe this more than anything, but why was I so damn afraid of living?

He stared at me for a minute and I shrugged my shoulders, wondering what direction we would need to start walking.

"Where are we going?" I sighed, looking down to the ground.

"Well, we have to walk to the next town and they will pick us up from there," he replied.

"Why can't they just pick us up here?"

"I told them to pick us up at the next town over."

"Why though? I don't feel like walking," I laughed.

"I figured that we could get to know each other better," he said, looking bashful.

"Okay, I guess that would be fine," I muttered. I didn't want him to get to know me better because maybe if he did, he wouldn't like me as much as he thinks he does.

"So, I know most about your past, but let me know a little more."

"What do you want to know?"

"I'd like to know about your time before I arrived at the coven. How did you deal with those monsters? I mean, I was only there a short time, but you've lived there your entire life, right?"

"Yeah, I was there my whole life. Hence why I'm so freaked out right now."

"I understand why you're nervous about the future, but it'll be great," he said, smiling brightly. His teeth were almost too white, which made me feel like I was unworthy to smile anymore. I laughed a little to myself.

"What are you giggling about?" He asked, eyeing me up and down.

"You make me feel so ugly," I laughed.

"What? I make you feel ugly? You being ugly is an impossibility," he said, jumping in front of me so I stopped.

He grabbed my shoulders and pulled me so close that our foreheads were touching. I felt myself start to sweat, but I pushed my feelings aside, telling myself not to give in.

"You are beautiful. Inside and out," he whispered, blowing his sweet breath in my face. I guess their venom was supposed to attract you to them, but this was something different. I felt myself almost being pulled towards his mouth, wanting to swallow every last bit of his saliva. That might sound disgusting, but that's the way he made me feel.

The scent was almost like cherries, taking my breath away with it every time he spoke. I closed my eyes and breathed in every last bit of it, trying to back away, but I couldn't stop my body from moving closer.

As I kept my eyes closed, I felt him move closer, too, bringing his lips to mine. We lingered for a moment and I took sharp, quick breaths into his open mouth.

I hoped that no one driving by would wonder what we were doing, but I didn't really care anymore.

He finally grabbed the side of my face and my lower back and pulled me as close as I could get, smashing his lips on to mine. I rolled my eyes under their lids, taking in every bit of the best kiss of my life. I take that back, it was the _first_ kiss of my life, other than the times I pushed him away.

His lips were surprisingly soft, almost like butter pressed against mine. It was so natural kissing him, almost as though our lips were _meant_ to fit together.

He backed away slowly and kissed my forehead. I smiled lightly and opened my eyes, revealing his soft, glowing face in front of mine.

"That was a real kiss," he whispered, grabbing my hand.

"I'm glad I didn't pull away this time," I replied, gripping tighter onto him.

"I'm glad you didn't either."

We walked down the road slowly, taking in our time with each other, although I was still more than scared.

Sure, he was a great kisser and he could probably turn out to be the love of my life, but he was still a vampire. What was keeping him from wanting my blood, anyway?

"John?" I asked, kicking a rock in front of us.

"Yeah?"

"Do you want my blood?" I asked releasing my grip on his hand.

"Actually, I feel more _protective_ of your blood than anything. I don't want it, I just want to be near it, if you catch my drift."

"But, that's so odd. In all of the other stories I've ever read, the vampire always wants the human's blood. Why are you so different?"

"Do you really have to ask that question?" He laughed. I guess he was right though. All of the vampires I've ever known have been so much different than the ones in the stories. Even the small details make a difference with them.

"So, you never told me more about your past," he said again, making my stomach churn again.

"I don't know what to tell you," I replied, shaking my head.

"When did you become so depressed, Becks?"

"I've been this way my entire life."

"Even when you were a little kid? I bet you were a happy little girl."

"How can you be happy when your parents are killed right in front of you? How can you be happy when the only thing you've heard your entire life is that you were born to be killed? How could I possibly enjoy my childhood under those circumstances?" I said defensively, crossing my arms.

"I know that it's hard and it will always be hard for you, but you can't hate _yourself_ for what they did to you. You have to believe in yourself and know that things will be better. Especially with me here with you."

"It's going to take awhile, okay, John? I can't just change like that," I said, snapping my fingers.

"I don't expect you to change. I'm just giving you the information and help that you need. I believe that I can help you but you have to let me help."

"Well, I'm here, aren't I?" I asked as I walked faster.

"Yeah, you're here, but you're not _fully_ here, Becks. I need you to believe in me as much as I believe in you."

"No offense, but I hardly know you, John. I hardy know anything about you. I don't even know anything about _your_ past."

"I want you to learn gradually from me. I hate telling people all of the details at once. But, I want to hear about you."

"Is that fair at all? I have to wait for your information, but you want me to tell you everything about me now?"

"You need to talk. I don't; I'm happy with the person I've become and I want you to reach that point one day. Now, spill your guts."

"I don't even know where to begin," I murmured.

"Start at the beginning, of course. How was school for you after everything happened?"

"Oh God…don't even get me started," I said, rolling my eyes. I didn't even want to think about my childhood, let alone explain it to him. My whole life was a tragedy and I hated bringing it up, but it didn't look like he was going to let me off the hook any time soon.

"Too late, I've already brought it up," he smiled, grabbing my hand again.


End file.
